“Death terrifies us. Not as much as public speaking but that is understandable: We aren’t sure what will happen to us after death; but, after public speaking, the humiliation we will receive is INEVITABLE.”
-Masercot, “Excerpt from book I’m working on“
I love the bloggers I’ve met online! As such, I want to pay a monthly tribute to my favorites with a post in their style.
Today’s author is Charles, AKA masercot. Although his “Moosehead Stratagem,” “Ask a Genetically-Modified Bio-Engineered Super-Intelligent Dog,” and history lessons are …interesting reads; Charles is most famous for his irreverent lists on varying topics. I will therefore attempt just such a list, in the voice of masercot.
Why It’s Better to Not Be Bright
Instead of staying up all night wondering if life has meaning, you can stay up all night watching reruns of “Saved by the Bell: The New Class.”
If your girlfriend just smashed the car into a cement piling and called your number, she’ll immediately say, “Oh! I forgot!” and call someone who can help instead.
Pretty much nothing at work is your fault. Even though it probably is.
You’re a shoe-in for any political office. Don’t worry about how to get there; people with money and slightly more brains will help you.
Whenever your grandmother turns to you and asks what Thirteen Across is, your dazed and blinking expression will help her realize you’re singing the theme song to “Saved by the Bell” and she’ll have to ring for the nurse.
Offers like “extended warranty” and “variable interest” sound interesting and exotic.
Since ignorance is bliss, you’ll be euphoric. (That means you’ll be stupid.)
I know I fall a bit short of the master so, if you liked what you read, give masercot a Follow.
Daniel Mingook Kim
Image by OpenClipart-Vectors from Pixabay
©2019 Chelsea Owens